Aug 06 2008
How I Found Out My Daughter Was Gay
The day I found out my daughter was gay I was in a tavern. A woman whom I knew through another person was very intoxicated. She approached me and asked how I feel about my daughter. She said her daughter had just told her she was gay and wanted to know how I felt when I found out. After telling her I had no clue what she was talking about, I left the tavern and went to another one. She followed me and would not let it drop.
I decided to go home and call my daughter. I told what I had heard and she just replied, “Yeah mom, I am gay.” She asked me if I had a problem with that and I told her that I had know problem with, but would have preferred hearing it from her instead of some drunk I hardly knew. We then discussed how to tell her dad. I advised her to tell him now and not let him find out the way I did. She was afraid of what he would say. I told her to just spit it out and get it over with. I really did not expect a problem with him.
She told her dad the following weekend and even though he was not happy about it, he accepted her without a doubt. Then it came to telling the rest of the family. No one had a problem with her being gay. Her girlfriends come to Christmas with her and other family events. No one worries about what the kids will think.
It does not have to be the end of the world like some think. I think my daughter is happier than she was before. She had a boyfriend before this, but we don not talk about him. He was a true winner. Not! As long as she is happy, everyone is happy. I support my daughter and love her no matter who she wants to be with as long as it is not that boyfriend again.
You have to have an open mind and a open heart to accept people for who they are and what they do.
I’m glad you gave a personal testimony on this. Advice is easy to take when you know the source has been there. I only hope that parents are really reading and internalizing these posts!
Good job (as usual)!
Sorry you had to find out the hard way. Apparently the other women wasn’t taking her news as well.
No she did not take the news well, that makes for another post tomorrow. How she handled and why. It was selfish for the most part.
Good for you. It’s unfortunate that not all parents can be so accepting.
I am so glad to hear that this conversation between you and your daughter went well even though you had to hear it from a third party in the beginning. I wish the same could be said about my half-sister. When she sat down and told her mother (she and I have the same father but different mothers), her mother refused to accept it. To this day, she and her mother don’t speak. Even though I’m not a fan of her mother, I keep hoping that she’ll come around for my sister’s sake. We should love people for who they are, not for who we think they should be.
Its sad to hear things like that because we expect our parents to love us. I could never imagine a life without my daughter.
Family is family no matter what. Your daughter has a great mom who is spreading the word of compassion and tolerance.
Thanks for sharing. Maybe other parents will realize that it is what it is and by not accepting it, you only damage your relationship with your child - he or she is not going to change for you.